Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
