he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
