so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
