it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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