3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
