Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Who did Billy Mays play for?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
