I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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