textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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