Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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