how can u be prego again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
