cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
