..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
