You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize