normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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