Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He passed out mid-signature
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
