What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
