Just fell off a train. Bad.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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