He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
