My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
