even my farts smell like vagina
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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