I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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