ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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