Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize