I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
