i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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