did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
