my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
