I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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