Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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