I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
