fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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