I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
