Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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