I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
