If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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