He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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