Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
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