Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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