This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
