they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
