brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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