DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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