I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
