I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
