plz talk dirty to me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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