matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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