And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
