Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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