i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
