it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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