He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
