Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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