Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize