I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
