Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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