Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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