By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
