belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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