Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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