I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
