Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
