Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
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