Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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