I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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