At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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