I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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