Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize