ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
