Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

don't go home with that guy from jersey

(626): View more from California

i know, not worth the blood test

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(678): View more from Georgia

My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.

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(386): View more from Florida

its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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(256): View more from Alabama

So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on

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(650): View more from California

FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza

(650): View more from California

I regret 8000% nothing

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(208): View more from Idaho

I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?

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