listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
