I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were destined to go to rehab together
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
