we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Too much gin, very little bucket
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
